Talking To Homosexuals
By Larry Rosenbaum

Most of us have heard testimonies of people saved from drugs or prostitution. However, many Christians wonder if it is possible for a homosexual to be saved. Churches have debated this issue. Some have concluded that homosexuality is not a sin, that homosexuals are born that way and cannot change. The church, they say, should accept them as they are. Others have taken the opposite position that homosexuals are reprobates and can't be saved, so we should keep them out of the church and not try to reach them. Many a homosexual has gone to his pastor for counsel, only to be thrown out of the church and have his sin announced publicly. Others were told that homosexuality is a "gift from God" and they should not resist these desires. Some have been seduced by their pastor or youth leader.

In recent years, many homosexuals have come "out of the closet." Every major city has a visible "gay" community. In almost every large church, some members will be struggling with this problem. I have known of pastors and youth leaders in evangelical churches who have left their family and church for a homosexual lover. While a prominent local pastor was crusading against homosexuality, his daughter, unknown to him, was a lesbian. The church can no longer ignore this issue.

1. Sexual Insecurity
In our society, men often grow up insecure about their sexual identity. They feel they have to go to bed with a woman to prove they aren't homosexual. We accept the idea of women embracing or kissing one another, or even sleeping in the same bed. Men are often afraid of showing any emotion toward someone of the same sex. Teenagers commonly call anyone they don't like a faggot or queer.

For many Christians, the hatred of homosexuality is based more upon their personal insecurities than a godly hatred of sin. We should hate all sin, especially the sin in our own life. We must not be self-righteous in witnessing to the homosexual. How did Jesus witness to the Samaritan woman? He looked at her as a valuable person, created in God's image, not as a "filthy prostitute."

"There is no temptation . . . but such as is common to man" (1 Cor. 10:13). Jesus "was in all ways tempted just as we are, only without sin" (Heb. 4:15). "Brethren, if a man be overtaken in a fault, you who are spiritual, restore such a one in the spirit of meekness, considering yourself, lest you also be tempted" (Gal. 6:1).

2. Causes of homosexuality
What causes homosexuality? This is a very complex issue. There is no proof that heredity or hormones are involved. Family background seems to be a factor, but one man may be homosexual while his brother is straight. Most homosexuals come from a family where the father is emotionally or physically absent. This is also true, however, of alcoholics and drug addicts. For male homosexuals, the mother was often dominant while the father was submissive. Many were victims of sexual abuse as a child. Many lesbians were beaten or raped by their fathers. Adolescent homosexual experimentation does not necessarily lead to homosexuality in adults.

3. What the Bible says about homosexuality
In the beginning, God created Adam and Eve. "And the Lord God said, it is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him . . . Therefore shall a man leave his father and mother, and cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh" (Gen. 2:l8,24). God did not make a second man, but rather a woman.

In the law given to Moses, God makes it very clear that homosexuality is sinful. "If a man also lie with mankind, as he lies with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death" (Lev. 20:13).

In the New Testament, homosexuality is always considered sinful. "For this cause God gave them unto vile affections: for even their women did change the natural use into that which is against nature: And likewise also the men, leaving the natural use of the woman, burned in their lust one toward another; men with men working that which is unseemly, and receiving in themselves the due penalty of their error" (Romans 1:26-27).

"Do you not know that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived, neither fornicators . . . nor effeminate, nor homosexuals . . . shall inherit the kingdom of God. And such were some of you; but you were washed, but you were sanctified, but you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ" (l Cor. 6:9-11). This passage, which condemns homosexual activity in the clearest terms, also offers hope. Some of the Corinthian church had been involved in homosexuality, and saved out of it. Actually, homosexuality was probably more common in the Greek and Roman society than it is today.

Despite these passages, there are those who maintain that homosexual activity is not sinful. They dismiss Leviticus 18 as "Old Testament." Romans 1, they say, is referring to heterosexuals who engage in homosexual activity, not true homosexuals. The Bible makes no such distinction. As Peter wrote, "the untaught and unstable distort (the writings of Paul) as they do also the other scriptures, unto their own destruction" (2 Peter 3:16). If a person wants badly enough to believe that homosexual behavior is not sinful, he will find a way to distort the Scriptures to agree with his position.

4. Coming out of homosexuality
Frank Worthen is director of New Hope Ministry in San Rafael, twenty miles north of San Francisco. Love in Action is a Christian ministry to homosexuals. Frank has spent much of the past ten years studying the subject, having been a practicing homosexual for over twenty years. He has identified four components of homosexuality: psychic response, behavior, identity, and lifestyle. Psychic response is what excites you sexually. Behavior is actual sexual activity. Identity is the label you give yourself, homosexual or heterosexual. Lifestyle includes such things as living in a homosexual neighborhood, having homosexual friends, and going to gay bars.

When a homosexual is saved, God normally deals first with his lifestyle and behavior. Leaving the lifestyle can involve getting a new job (e.g., if he was working in a gay bar), getting a new set of friends, and finding a new place to live (if he has gay roommates). This requires a deep commitment to Christ. Giving up homosexual behavior can also be very difficult. Temptations are everywhere. It really helps if he knows a Christian he can talk and pray with when he is being tempted.

As the ex-homosexual grows spiritually, God shows him that he has a new identity. He is no longer a homosexual, but a new creature in Christ. Psychic response is the hardest area to deal with. It is very hard to control our thought life. We need to fill our mind with godly thoughts. As Christians, we tend to have a double standard. If a heterosexual has lustful thoughts, we dismiss it as normal. If an ex-homosexual has lustful thoughts, we conclude that he isn't cured. In fact, sometimes we encourage him to replace homosexual lust with heterosexual lust.

All Christians are tempted by sexual lust. Only when we yield to temptation does it become sin. We can't prevent lustful thoughts from entering our mind, but we can refuse to dwell on these thoughts, and think instead on things that are true, honest, just, pure, lovely, and of good report (Phil. 4:8).

Healing for the ex-homosexual is generally a gradual process. As God deals with the root causes - pride, envy, self - pity, rejection, fear of or hatred toward women, etc., healing will come in his life.

5. Witnessing to homosexuals
In a sense, witnessing to homosexuals is no different from witnessing to anyone else. We have one gospel to present to all people, gay or straight. We are not calling people to celibacy. We are telling them of their need to know Jesus Christ as Savior and Lord. Once they know Him, He will do the changing in their lives.

Usually, you don't need to bring up the issue of homosexuality. Most gay people will bring it up themselves. In response, we can briefly explain that homosexuality is a sin, but it is possible to put aside that lifestyle with God's help. Avoid getting sidetracked into a long argument about whether or not homosexuality is a sin. Ask the person if he would be willing to turn away from homosexuality if God showed him it was a sin and helped him to change. Then begin talking about other sin problems he may have such as lying or unforgiveness. Many homosexuals are very much aware that their lifestyle is sinful, and want to change. You can assure them that change is possible with God's help.

In San Francisco, we have experienced a great deal of opposition from some homosexuals who do not want the gospel preached in "their community." As the gay rights movement spreads, you can expect increased hostility to the gospel by homosexuals throughout the country. We need to reach these people now, before they become more hardened to God's Word. Christians from a homosexual background need to be very careful about witnessing to gays. Some ex-homosexuals who have come to San Francisco to witness have fallen into sin. An ex-gay should examine himself realistically to see if he is ready for this kind of ministry. Generally, I recommend that the person be out of active homosexual involvement at least a year. Even then, it is quite possible to fall. He should not witness by himself, but go with a strong Christian brother or sister. He needs to be especially careful witnessing near old hangouts and to old friends and lovers.

You don't need to come from a homosexual background to witness to gays. In fact, straight Christians have a great advantage as they aren't tempted by homosexual lust. Many gays really want a heterosexual friend who will love and accept them. Many would like to marry and live a "normal" life. Be yourself, show love to the homosexual, and share honestly about your own sexual temptations and how God is helping you with them.

Finally, don't neglect follow-up. When the homosexual prays to receive Christ, you need to do all you can to help him grow spiritually. This means spending time with him, taking him to church, helping him with problems and possibly helping him to find a new place to live. Although it's easy to get discouraged when someone you've ministered to falls back into sin, remember that God is still working in his life. Continue to pray for him.

Homosexuality is one of the most difficult things to come out of. Unfortunately, many people do go back into it. Often, it takes years of prayer, counseling, and God's dealing for a person to get free. Living in a Christian discipleship house can be helpful in many cases. Unfortunately, many house leaders do not know how to minister to homosexuals. Close Christian friendships and church involvement are also very helpful, but many Christians do not feel comfortable relating to ex-homosexuals. I hope that this chapter will help you understand homosexuality better, so God can use you to reach homosexuals with the gospel.

New Hope Ministry, which I spoke about earlier, is part of a network of Christian ministries to homosexuals called Exodus International. They can provide helpful literature on various topics related to homosexuality, as well as provide counseling for those struggling with homosexuality. They can also refer you to an ex-gay ministry in your area. Most of the people in these ministries have come out of homosexuality, and understand what is involved in getting victory over it. Exodus can be reached at P.O. Box 540119, Orlando, FL 32854, 888-264-0877, www.exodus-international.org.

This article is taken from the book You Shall Be My Witnesses: How to Reach Your City for Christ by Larry Rosenbaum. He can reached at www.sosmin.com.